BOOK:Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

If you’re an Asian, tiger mothers have been all around us. The pinnacle of Asians is to have sons or daughters equipped with university degrees is widely acknowledged. Academic success is the measure of how Asian parents succeed in bringing up their children. However, who defines Asians as Asians?

What as some the Westerners believe, Asians are not just Chinese. And to some extent, it is annoying for the Asians to look some Caucasians who referred all Asians as those with slanted eyes only. Indians have by far one of the largest eyes any human can have. And the eyes are very pretty- Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit can show you how beautiful their eyes are. Don’t think that Asians are short too- we have Yao Ming. The giants of Asia, for example Japan, China and India have influenced the world both economically and politically. This has caused implications to the smaller and less famous countries like Malaysia and Indonesia- they are also associated with the Western notion of Asians that are- Chinese looking, underdeveloped and of course, the slanted eyes.

However, most typical Asians have one thing in common- the style of parenting. This parenting style is what has been portrayed as a parenting memoir of the famous and controversial Amy Chua in her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The subject of Chinese parenting has been described as ‘harsh’ and this has been true for most Asian parenting styles. Although the Chinese parenting is somehow very much related and coherent with those of Malay or Indian or any other Asian parentings, Amy Chua is wise enough not to group them in the same definition. Asians are too diverse to be grouped in the same parenting style.

The subject of this Asian parenting style is somewhat homogenous in China, Taiwan, South Korea and probably Japan. This probably has been the result of near-homogenous society. In Confucian China, filial piety is very much practiced and Amy Chua could not be truer when she said that Chinese parents feel that their children ‘owe’ them as the parents are the ones who rise up their children. The Malays feel the same thing to.

This concept of filial piety is not just embedded in North Asian parents but is a commandment of Allah SWT to the Muslims. Malaysians and Indonesians which have large Muslim populations are somehow in the same culture and practise as those of their Chinese counterparts in their tradition of obeying the parents. Muslims must adhere to what the parents ask them to do except in conditions where the parents ask the children to do something that is against the teaching of Islam.

However, I can speak from experience that the contemporary Malay parenting style is somehow affected by the Chinese students’ performance in schools. When the highly-performed Chinese students are the top ones in schools, Malay parents always push their children to excel on par with the Chinese as well. This trend can be seen during the 1990s till now. In some ways, the Chinese parenting style has affected the Malays educate their children and this is of course, very distinctive in urban areas where competitions between ‘your child’ and ‘my child’ are the subjects of coffee talk among mothers. Tuition centres have become the new playground.

Indians have also been famous for producing top engineers, IT experts and billionaires. There is this belief among Malaysians that an Indian family should have a doctor, a lawyer and an engineer in the family. However, this has led to another serious problem in Asia- pursuing parents’ dreams instead of pursuing own passions. A Bollywood movie, 3 Idiots which is a massive hit among the Bollywood-obsessed Malays put in the limelight of the situations in Asia about the way Asian parents force their child to take highly-paid jobs instead of letting them choose their own interests.

Amy Chua’s A Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is the best parenting memoir that cuts across the culture and although there are lots of self-boasting and self-crediting, the book should be applauded for its bravery in bringing an important message that transcends all parenting styles- children are not easy to be raised.-The Chukai Insider

Less Serious This Time- Episode 3

On the D-Day

I had a plan with Azim actually to endure the supposedly the happiest day of my life before it became the D-Day. He supposedly called the office to ask my result. It didn’t happen. So, I called Ms Sarah and I heard the most unforgettable letter in my whole life, C. It changed my whole course of life, my dear! No American degree anymore! No Seattle experience anymore.

How I endured the D-Day:

Less Serious This Time- Episode 2

It has been almost two months before I stopped writing for this blog.

Before the D-Day

I was busy doing visa with so much hype and excitement to go to Seattle. Well, everything was to be settled down; visa, passport etc. I stayed in my house in KL for a quite long time to get everything done. Staying alone in the house made me realise how calm I was.

Shahid contacted me one day and asked if I want to go to Alamanda in Putrajaya and watch Angelina Jolie’s Salt. There, Shahid told me that he wanted to go to Kemaman, my hometown to get his GCE English certificate at Rantau Petronas in Kerteh. The plan to go to my house went well. Funny, his car is probably older than me. She managed to climb Karak highway though. Shahid was reluctant at first to bring me back to Kemaman on his car just because of the condition of the car. I did. We survived!

Shahid went to his school the next day. There was a lot of “where are you studying now?” s, and I was so sick of it. Who wouldn’t? I brought Shahid to see my best friend, Amin. He knows him as well because we used to go to camps together. We went out and took lunch with Lian, another KTJ-ian. Amin is not, and he was not the normal live-out-loud Amin! We made plans to go to Cherating that evening, without Lian though.

Less Serious This Time - Episode 1

Photos courtesy of Liyana Lee.

Yesterday, I went for my pre-departure briefing before going to study in the States, amin. I arrived at KLCC so early because as usual, my sister send me to the train station right after my Subuh prayer. There alone in KLCC, I took out my Pearl S. Buck's The God Earth waiting for my other friends. Do you know, there are lots of people already as in the early morning in KLCC. The Petronas staffs and the Suria Salesmen kept coming from the train station. It was like New York, I thought.

40 minutes, before 8.30 am, I took out my book and read it. 8.16 am, Farrah phoned me and ask me to go to the lounge of KLCC. So, I went there and saw Azim, another friend of mine with her. Azim has a new look, but it totally is not good. In other word, bad. 

Level 40 : After series of funny events and Azim looking very funny(overdressed), we went straight away to the Dining Hall because we were freaking hungry. Before that, we saw a guy from Sri KDU College and I don't give a damn to remember his name and so, goodbye! Only Azim, the-one-who-always-kind-to-handsome-boys did make a contact. 

After the briefing, I had a burger date with my junior (another post to describe her later on), Liyana Lee whom I agreed to treat her with burger. She took random pictures and we talked a lot! She brought a friend with her, Amm who was very quite, probably Al-Azhar mad her so. Then, Aiman and Farrah came to see us, surprisingly. Okay, more talking and forgiving! There is more in the next episode.

Less serious, Liyana Lee?

Short Stories of My Life

Popular Bookstore- 11 years old

The tall dark men next to me took out large sums of money to give to the cashier. He was willing to pay all of my R.L Stine’s Goosebumps and Michael Lee’s Midnight’s Story series although he did not understand much what the books are all about. But my father did understand my passion for reading, and he knew it was good for his son. Being in standard five, I have not much to care about the world around me, only my Goosebumps and evenings filled with Disney Channel time.

SMK Sultan Ismail II- 15 years old

“Wow that is such a great camera! How did your father allow you to buy it? ” I asked my friend when he brought his own DSLR camera. I was stunned by the images captured by the small-but-heavy black thing! I could not care less but to surf the internet and looked for the best camera.
“NO, the final answer is no!” my father said.
“It’s okay, I’ll buy the camera using my own money” I replied. My father just smiled and walked away.

I knew I could not get enough Ringgit Malaysia to buy the camera which was my passion and so was my father. I looked for ways to develop my passion in capturing moments. I studied independently on how to capture my own best photo using my friend’s camera and from the internet. Digital Camera magazines were my in my list of things for camping.

In one evening in January, I came back to school and found a yellow-framed magazine. It was on the table. National Geographic? Yes, it was. I was so glad that my mother subscribed the magazine as my birthday present. Until now, it is still my favourite magazine. Nothing could compare my pleasure of drinking a cup of coffee while engaging myself with the photos in Visions of Earth section in the magazine. Canadian Oil Boom, Yellowstone National Park and recently published Indonesia Facing the Fanatics are the journals portraying the real world natural phenomenon and human-made crisis. The stories were told beautifully made myself deeply sink into the world.

Kolej Tuanku Ja’afar- 18 years old

“How much is too much?” the voice of Oprah was vibrating in my ears as I was reading my favourite author’s new book, Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly of Everything. My mother was doing her daily routine; watching Oprah while I always accompany her while reading a book. I found it was intellectually engaging to watch Oprah although my mother just anxious waiting whether the audiences were going to get surprises from the show. While watching the show, I develop my passion for the physique of our Earth. The book I was reading truly brought interest in me for our Earth.

I went to boarding school and away from my father’s care and my mother’s guidance. My Sunday mornings have been replaced with time for reading The Star, the leading nation’s newspaper. Zainah Anwar’s column, Sharing the Nation was my favourite together with Dzoff Azmi’s Contradictheory. Being an activist, Zainah Anwar has always inspired me with her thoughtful and critical views.
Growing up, I found memoirs to be inspirational. ‘Tis a Memoir and Angela’s Wishes by Frank McCourt truly stirred my heart with his moving stories while my favourite author’s memoir, The Life and Times of the Thundeborlt Kid made myself to discover that my life is full of beautiful things to do!

I came across a book one day that grabbed my attention. ‘Outliers: The True Story of Success’ by Malcolm Gladwell. I just picked up the book and read it. I skipped dinner and finished the book in one and a half day! I was so captivated by the stories, analysis and arguments presented in the book. Those who are successful are outliers, and they are successful because of accumulation of success. Well, truly interesting when I reflected my own chronological stories. Without my father’s will to spend so much money for my books, without my mother’s daily routine, without my 15th birthday present and without my passion for photos; how would I be today?